but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
