He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
