you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
