Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
