Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
