I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Of course I have a pirate flag
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
