You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
