Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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