and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
