It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We just shotgunned beers for America
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
