I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Boobs speak an international language.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
