he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i drank out of a bidet.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
