look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
