I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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