Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize