Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
