she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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