She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
there was a trapeze. enough said
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
