So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
