I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
