dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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