Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
