she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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