took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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