is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
