Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
