I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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