I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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