peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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