forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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