you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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