omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
