wrigley field is MILF paradise
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
