: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
