On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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