Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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