So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
