Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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