I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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