If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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