I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
