TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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