I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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