God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
