So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
