I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
