Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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