FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
