I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
