"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
