He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
