so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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