So drunk, too bad you don't want this
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
